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That Chameleon Christian Bale Is A Fat Guy Now To Play Dick Chaney

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With a bald head and a heavier figure, Christian Bale is ready to play former Vice President Dick Cheney.

The actor, 43, who regularly undergoes dramatic weight transformations for roles, will play George W. Bush’s second-in-command for the upcoming movie Backseat. He was spotted without hair on Monday while doing press in Los Angeles for his new western movie, Hostiles.

To pack on the pounds, Bale previously said that he’s eating a Thanksgiving favorite.

“I’ve just eaten a lot of pies, so far,” he told Variety.

 

What the fuck is this shit about? There are a lot of cool things to make movies about. A bio of the Vice President of the Bush Administration is not one of them. Times must be getting real tough for Hollywood writers. There’s absolutely nothing that could happen in the life of Dick Chaney that I will give a shred of a shit about. Unless this movie exposes a bunch of White House secrets about aliens and Area 51 it’s going to suck. I don’t even know what they are going with this. The only description of the movie is.

“The story of Dick Chaney, the most powerful Vice President in history, and how his policies changed the world as we know it”.

Does that sound like something to throw a couple hundred million dollars, Christian fucking Bale and America’s Sweetheart Amy Adams at? I want to kill myself even thinking about watching, what I’m sure will be, 3 hours of this garbage. I could watch Christian Bale in just about anything, but I might be drawing the line at Dick Head Chaney.

Christian Bale is probably the best actor of this generation, but he is for sure the craziest man who’s ever lived. People like to talk about how much he absolutely tortures his body going from American Psycho to The Machinist, and crack head Dick Eklund in The Fighter, to Batman. But it still doesn’t get enough credit. Now he’s playing fat Dick Chaney. The fact the same guy can play sexy suave Bruce Wayne and fat weasel Dick Chaney is grounds for some type of lifetime achievement academy award. This just can’t be safe. Bale is 43 right now and the way this guy has lived there no chance he makes it to 50.

He admitted in 2013, though, that he can’t mess with his body as much as he used to.

Uhh yeah no shit buddy, no human should be doing anything like this ever.

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I’ll give credit to Hollywood for not just remaking another movie and trying something new, but this is horseshit. Just stick to what you know, put a few whacky mothers into unexpected situations, put out some new animated garbage, and make another Spiderman. Its been like 3 months since the last one. Toby Mcquire must have a kid by now that’s somewhat old enough to take the reigns back. Boom problem solved Hollywood. There’s no set release date for the exhilarating Dick Chaney flick called “Back Seat” yet so I don’t know when this movie actually comes out, hopefully never.

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