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Marcin Gortat Has Called For Lonzo Ball’s Head

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Lonzo Ball has easily had the toughest transition into the NBA ever. Veterans and All Stars have been shit talking him since someone he was sitting in his freshman algebra class. Lavar has been writing Big Baller checks that Donald Trump couldn’t cash. Patrick Beverly already snacked on him like an appetizer in his first game and now hes a full course meal waiting for the rest of the NBA until he puts his $600 foot down.

Lonzo caught the attention of the Polish Hammer now. After Lavar went off saying there’s no way Lonzo looses twice in the same week. If he does, it is expected that Lavar promptly organizes a brand new “Basketballer Association”. Der Fuhrer Gortat fired back with these tweets.

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It is no surprise here that the guy who looks like “Mr. Freeze” from Batman is taking this to a homicide level. If your Lonzo Ball, it is time to run for cover. I am 90% sure Gortat has killed at least one person.

This is a classic pre-crime move from Gortat. Ring all the alarms and point the finger at John Wall. Sure, he might score 50 on him and break his ankles 7 times, but embarrassment does not effect the Ball family. If any harm is inflicted on Lonzo Ball I can guaran-damn-tee its coming from this man.

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It will be a sad day after Marcin tears Lonzo apart, limb from limb. Luckily, like the caring father he is, Lavar has recently taken out a $1 Billion life insurance policy out on Lonzo, and started a charity foundation in his name, with all of the proceeds going to benefit Ball Institute of Higher Learning.

I think Lonzo will figure it out. Eventually Lavar will slink into the night and the fade away, at least from Lonzo. He’s got 1.5 other kids lives to ruin. Lonzo is clearly pretty good and has somewhat of a level head on his shoulders. I don’t really know if I’m rooting for him yet, but for now I will say I hope Marcin Gortat doesn’t murder him

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