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You Are An Asshole If You Don’t Say “Thank You” After Receiving a “Bless You”

I was sitting in chemistry this morning when a kid in the row behind me sneezed. By the age of 21, it should be an automatic response to say “bless you” when somebody sneezes (save your “God bless you” for church, I didn’t ask to be blessed by God himself (if God is real, definitely a genderless entity)). Anyway, I took the reins and fired out an authoritative “bless you.” About five seconds passed and the class remained silent except for the professor talking about carboxylic acids or some bullshit. No “thank you” from the kid. Listen, I’m not a “you should get credit for every nice thing you do” kind of guy. But if somebody is going to take the time to BLESS YOU, a power reserved for saints and gods, it would be a nice show of appreciation to just say thank you.

Which brings me to my next point: southern hospitality is a myth. I’ve been at school in Alabama for three and a half years and honestly most of the people raised in the south are assholes. Only nice to you if they want something or fake nice to your face. At least in New England nobody lies about being an asshole, they own that shit. If you’re going to advertise your entire region as being sweet and nice, just say thank you when somebody blesses your sneeze or else people are going to stop blessing your sneezes. And eeeeeveryone knows that if you sneeze and it isn’t blessed then your dick falls off and you have 10,000 years of bad luck.

Sidebar: I love saying “your welcome” when somebody says thank you after a bless you. It just takes things one step too far and makes everyone feel a little bit uncomfortable. That’s what life is all about.




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