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Billy Joel’s 68 Year Old Dick Still Works Better Than Yours

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Singer Billy Joel and wife Alexis Roderick have another baby on the way!

Joel revealed the baby news during an interview, telling Belfast Telegraph, “We are due next month.”

Their new bundle of joy will join their daughter Della Rose, 2. He shared, “This one is pretty good. She sleeps through the night. I hope the next one will.”

Of his life as Della’s dad, he shared, “I hang out with her and watch her little wheels spin. And she’s a hoot. She’s a funny kid. She loves to laugh. I like to make her laugh.”

 

Billy Joel is a goddamn rock star. ‘Only the Good Die Young’, and evidently Billy Joel is the baddest man of all. I can’t believe this guy’s blood even remembers how to find its way to his dick. This is proof that people this talented are just cut from a different cloth. Michael Jordan had the flu game. Doc Ellis pitched a no hitter on fucking ACID. And now Billy Joel is out here putting babies in chicks at 68.

BJ has got to have some Michael Phelps swimmers, or just the worst luck in the entire world. There is no way this guy wants to be playing peek-a-boo and dropping these little shits off at school. You can already tell he doesn’t no what to do with the one he already has. “Uh yeah sure she’s pretty cool I guess, idk I don’t even really no her, she laughs sometimes”.

Billy did the whole kid thing already… 31 years ago with the hottest chick that’s ever lived.

He went through all this with Christie Brinkley in the 90’s. Anything after that is just a joke to this guy. Christie Brinkley is 5 times hotter than Alexis Roderick is right now, and she’s no shlub herself. Honestly, I didn’t even know who Alexis Roderick was before this. Her bio just says, “Pianist Billy Joel’s wife”. Once you’ve reached the mountaintop there’s nowhere to go but down.

Now “looks aren’t every thing” but you cannot tell me his heart is fully in this. I will make my case, and to clarify this is the best picture Alexis Roderick in existence.

 

Alexis Roderick 2016

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Christie Brinkley 1980’s – 2016

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I mean she has been putting asses in seats, and dicks in hands for 40 years.

Game. Set. Match.

There is no chance he gives a shit about this new family. Obviously he’s just doing this for her and I respect it, he’s not going to be changing diapers or waking up from his 4:30 naps to make sure these things have eaten in the past two days. But still give this guy a break, he was going platinum before his wife was even born, these kids are literally going to grow up just thinking he’s their grandpa. He’s 68 fucking years old. He should be worrying about doing the jumble, what temperature his house is, and where his family is going to bury his body when he’s dead in 5 years. Nope, not my guy Billy, hes still selling out the Garden and banging 35-year-old smokes.

If THE Piano Man himself wants to keep slinging his dusty old hog around 30 year olds, who am I to stop him. If the consequence is your gonna have a couple little tykes mildy annoying you from time to time, fuck it, do your thing Billy, your running the show here.

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