I get it, you read this title and probably said; “WOW! This guy is a real fucking asshole.”
Hear me out here. BABIES. ARE. UGLY.
Let’s start from top to bottom, these little creatures we like to call humans have the weirdest looking heads. It mind bottles me how people think these things are adorable looking, THEY BARELY OPEN THEIR DAMN EYES. Which may I add has some gross as gunk that accumulates every five or so minutes. Also there heads by themselves are soft and just gross to touch it’s mushy and just flat out one of the strangest things you will ever feel. Another point would be their hair, its thin, there isn’t a lot of it and honestly the 70 year old man look on the top of their heads is not cool. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT, these aliens vomit EVERYWHERE. How and where is and will that ever be “cute.” Fucking bananas.
Okay now we go to the torso, arms, etc. All these babies look like tiny future obese people, the fat on them, I get is supposed to be good for them, totally get that. BUT if you see this on a person your age you’re gonna think that person is fucking FAT, which in most countries, ain’t “adorable.” These things hands are so tiny I feel like when they wrap their hand around one of your fingers (which I’ll admit is cute) I honestly think that I might kill one of these things by just breathing a little heavy near them. They really are a safety hazard. I won’t make a huge deal about there lower third because it is pretty repetitive of their middle third. But just remember these things shit non stop, and YOU have to clean it up, making them once again not “adorable.”
Heres the biggest thing about kids and how they aren’t adorable. These lil shits are the most annoying little cunts in the fucking world. They bitch and moan all day and night long until they get their way. And the only reason they get their way is because you are so fed up with these motherfuckers that before you throw them off the fucking porch you agree to their lil conniving ass plan for them to get their way. And they know it too. In the back of their heads they know you’re gonna give in the longer they keep up with their bullshit because they know what irks you and what grinds your gears perhaps.
Looking back on my younger days I can totally understand why I got to do half the shit I did whenever my father was watching me. HE DID NOT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. This dude would nap on his La-Z-Boy and wait until he heard me walk back in the house only to realize its been 7 hours and I was on the other side of the city. He didn’t care because he realized, not all losses were a loss, I was his problem, I drove him crazy. Therefore giving him the satisfaction of “Well, oh well don’t have to deal with that shit head anymore.”
God I hope I don’t become a parent.