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MLB Wild Card Games Are Here And They Still Fucking Suck

Here we go again. Here we FUCKIN go again. After 182 games, it comes down to one game that decides who’s in and who’s out. The Yankees and the Twins first pitch is at 8:00 tonight and its win or go home. Seriously, this set up is so god dam stupid. I say it every year. It makes zero sense. “Here you go guys you got 1 shot, winner keeps playing and the loser is dead”. Sounds like another game I know, ever heard of Russian Roullette? Yeah Boom, think about that Manfred. You Bitch.

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In most sports the first round is a miss match and usually a cakewalk for the favorite. But baseball playoffs are the most unpredictable of any pro sport, anybody can beat anybody, that is why they play series in the first place. If any sport could use this its basketball, the whole first round sound be 1 game match ups. I don’t need to see Lebron beat the shit out of 5th grade CYO team 4 times.

This set up for baseball is utterly ridiculous, and you get people all the time who think its some coockie fun idea and is “the most wonderful thing in sports”. FUUUCK that, its good for the losers who didn’t win the wild card. Get this participation trophy play in game out of my face. The Yankees won the wild card by 6 games. Just scrap this god dam game and let whoever won the wild card… win the wild card. I no, crazy idea.

Just to clarify, I am not nervous about this game. The Yankees have big brothered the Twins in the playoffs since baseball was invented. I actually just realized Joe Mauer was still in the MLB and he has medically diagnosed allergies to beating the Yankees in the Playoffs. Sano is already listed out for tonight and Severino is ready to be “The Guy”. It just sucks that one bad roll could literally rip my heart out and piss on it. I would be a little worried, but I already know its destiny to meet the Red Sox in the ALCS, where they can piss on said heart.

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See that necklace? You wanna tell me he’s not throwing a no-no tonight?

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