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Phillip Rivers is Stuck in Football Limbo

Philip Rivers’ late-game comeback falls short in loss to Broncos

DENVER — They haven’t won here since 2013, and hiring a new head coach or moving to a new city didn’t change the luck of the Los Angeles Chargers.

Penalties and missed opportunities led to the Chargers’ demise as they dropped their season opener on the road against the Denver Broncos 24-21.

The Chargers have now lost their past four appearances on “Monday Night Football” and are 22-23 all time in the prime-time contest.   -ESPN

Well the season is underway and Phillip Rivers is picking up right where he left of for the past 13 years. That headline pretty much sums up this chumps whole career. Since I started really watching football closely, which was around 2003, there are two things I’ve realized I can always count on

  1. The Patriots are just better then everyone else and are good for at least 10 wins a year
  2. The Chargers are losers and will find a way to blow any game they can

Yeah they try to fool some people every now and then. They’ll hang around and be competitive but the cream will always rise to the top and Phillip Rivers will always sink to the bottom.


I love to bash Rivers but he is undeniably good. I’m pretty sure he just passed some big milestone last night but to be honest I’m not going to check it because it doesn’t matter. Any record he breaks or stats he puts up are just meaningless to me. Except for one I saw last night. As I understand, from the biggest joke of a broadcasting team ever assembled Monday night, last year the Chargers didn’t score 1 point on potential game winning drives. I know everyone likes to throw around chirps at people not having the “clutch gene’ and shit like that, but god dammit Phillip Rivers must literally have nothing in his ball bag (Insert 35 children joke). I mean that’s just ridiculous. This guy has never put his team on his back and won anything in his life. I don’t no what the answer is. Rivers just doesn’t have what it takes to win anything, but he is good enough to keep out of a rebuilding process. He will never get to Heaven but he keeps them out of Hell. As a man of the cloth, Father Phillip has the Chargers stranded in purgatory.

Also writing this blog has made me fucking hate how he goes by Phillip. God dam this guys a bitch, no wonder he is such a loser.

Side Note: This realization has given me a new betting strategy. Take the Chargers as road underdogs.

For the most part they are favorites at home, which is unreliable. and when they are dogs its usually minimal points against a powerhouse team, so that’s scary

On the road, with points is ideal because Phillip can do Phillip things. Throw for 3 touchdowns and get his team back into any game. Make no mistake, he will loose the game but more times then not he will cover the spread. It’s a win-win, you’ll win a bet and he can stop disappointing everyone all the time.





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