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SkunkedBeer Movie Review: Dunkirk

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Another Summer is upon us and once again there is a movie of the year that will blow us all away. Dunkirk is in theaters and it has been the most hyped up movie of the year. Every time an add came on it got my juices flowing. it had all the right things. World War II, an incredible story about civilians stepping up and answering the call of their country when they were needed, and most importantly Tom Hardy. But still i was skeptical because I’ve seen this play out to many times and walked out of the theater with my balls looking like the spoiled chick from Willy Wonka

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It happened with Black Mass, Suicide Squad, Southpaw, and the list goes on. These movies are supposed to blow our dicks off and have so much potential to be great but fall short. And their fine, their good movies that you’d watch again but whatever. Their not what they could have been their missing something, whatever it may be. But Dunkirk has it. They got Christopher Nolan, who could shoot an erectile dysfunction commercial and make people think it’s a preview for an Oscar worthy film. He was primed to make the best WWII movie since Saving Private Ryan, and in a lot of ways he did. Dunkirk is killing in ratings its got a nearly perfect score on Rotten Tomatoes, but leaving the theater i couldn’t help but feel like I just went down on a girl for 1 hour and 45 minutes and got nothing in return. After breaking it down i think know why.

  • It was about the British and French Armies. Not to be a Revolutionary War “Homer” or anything but its a little hard to compete with the countless movies already made that show American troops in heroic battles kicking absolute ass. So this wasn’t a big factor but it was a challenge those weird accent, weird nose having bullocks were gonna have to overcome
  • The combat portion was weak or non existent. because the movie was about a retreat the English troops weren’t exactly matching the Germans shot for shot. It makes sense and was supposed to be the the “awe” of the movie, that these soldiers had no chance. But the excitement of the movie takes a hit when their just getting wiped out the whole time. The movie said there was about 400,000 men on the beach and about 40,000 or so made it out. Those numbers are crazy and what made for a great story, but I don’t think the movie did them justice as to how much push back their would have been.
  • Going back to the British thing. The kid who went blind. his face alone brought the movie down about 1 star for me. Jesus Christ I couldn’t look at that god dam thing anymore. It’s a dam shame if that kid was portraying and actual hero who died saving wounded soldiers. Because that kid looked like someone shaved a monkey and put him in a microwave.
  • Finally, and this is the big one, Nolan made the British Military look like a bunch of pussies. Now I didn’t do any research on how it actually went down, but I’m giving these soldiers the benefit of the doubt and saying this wasn’t it. There was no commradery at all. Every scene had people shoving each other under the bus to save their own ass. i couldn’t believe it. The whole movie had a “look out for yourself” vibe. There were only a few scenes where you saw people stick together. which is absolutely crazy to say in a movie about civilians driving boats into battle. I’m not saying if i was over on that beach with chopper gunners blasting away at me that I’d be some kind of hero who grabs the guys around me and and shields them from fire. I’m not even saying thats what they should do or what American soldiers do. I would give you $20 however to show me an American war movie where anyone who doesn’t stick by their men isn’t made out to look like a complete traitor. I would give someone another 20 if they can honestly say anytime that happens they didn’t lean to the person next to them and say “Look at the fuckin bitch”. It’s just a fact, its how we’ve been told soldiers are supposed to act and I truly believe thats how United States soldiers are. I don’t know much about UK patriotism, but i don’t think Christopher Nolan did the British Military any justice in writing and directing this movie.

All said and done it was still a good movie that had a lot of good features. The chronology of the movie was incredible. The way he shoot the scenes from different angles and showing them from different perspectives was something I’ve never seen before. The fact the movie had such an incredible story of civilian heroism and Nolan’s pure directorial skills make the movie great according to people better then me who don’t just look at movies and say “Damn that was cool”.

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